I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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