My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
