Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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