Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
