In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
