Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
