I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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