This is not my ceiling
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
