yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
