Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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