its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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