hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
