I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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