Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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