I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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