I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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