I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
