If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
