my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
