so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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