yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
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PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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