Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
