all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize