i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
