I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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