she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
