okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
