Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
