So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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