all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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