You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ladies don't puke and tell
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
