That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
