just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
