you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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