non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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