***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
