Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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