maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize
