before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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