Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
send nudes
from the living room?
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