I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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