she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How does one acquire holy water?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
