FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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