he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize