'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
