If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
