nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
