Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
