ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
