people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
