I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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