Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
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i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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