I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
