everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
