I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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