Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
