Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
